Darkness
by Witchytara25
Summary: Out of darkness, there is light
1. Chapter 1

A/N: _Hello my lovelies, I have not forgotten about anyone. Insane times with 6 weeks left to go on my Bachelor's and trying to get registered to take a Master's program. So, here it is, my latest story. This one I think is going to actually be a series. Yeah, I know, me write a series? This is my relaxation. Well, this and watching all the DVD's my lovely girlfriend bought me to try and sate me while waiting for season 8.  
Once again, this is JJ/Emily and this revolves around after the episode 2122 Mosley Lane. It's in season 4. Not major spoilers, but I did center this around that episode. _

_So, once again, none of this, except the plot, belongs to me. Criminal Minds belongs to CBS and whoever else claims the show. However, if Paget Brewster decides to come back, I am more than willing to be her personal assistant. _ _So, no money is being made off of this, just a junkie who is trying to deal with the fact that one half of her favorite couple won't be on the show next season. However, I don't care, there is still JJ/Emily to be written._

The blonde heard the car coming up the gravel driveway and fought the urge to rush out. Peering out the window, she noticed how slow the car was driving and her brow furrowed in concentration; this was unusual, because only time the brunette drove that slow was when something was on the radio. She heard her footsteps coming up to her door and paused when the doorbell didn't ring. She sighed and heard her sit on the front step, picturing her perfectly; eyes cast down, arms wrapped around her knees, staring into nothing.  
The blonde quietly opened the door, and her heart broke at the sight that was sitting in front of her. She knew that cases with children always hit her harder than most; she knew why also. She knew that even though the case had a happy ending, she knew that this particular one would haunt her for days, because of the one that died before they could get there. She knew that there was no compartmentalization that could help with this one. The only thing she could do was go over and over the case facts in her head, analyzing every detail until it ate her alive.  
She walked outside and sat next to the brunette, not saying anything. She glanced over at lover and reached out, taking her hand. She knew that right now she needed this light touch, this constant reminder of what was real. Not saying anything, the brunette sighed and blinked back tears, wondering how this could get any easier.  
"We saved three of them, Em. The case was a success."  
"No, if I could have worked the profile a little quicker, we could have saved the fourth one."  
The blonde reaches out and gently turns the brunette's face towards her, the unshed tears in her lover's eyes breaking her heart. "Em, we saved three. It's more than we can usually save."  
"What made you believe her? What made you, after all the years that Charlie's mother had come in, what made you believe her this time?"  
JJ sighed and said quietly, "The fact that if that was Henry, I would do the same thing; is the same way. Yes, maybe my personal feelings got in the way this time, but there was just something different about this time."  
Emily sighed and scooted closer, laying her head on the blonde's shoulder, taking comfort in the mere presence of her girlfriend. "You know, when we were wrapping up and asked us how we did this, I was truthful. It was the days like today that make it worth it. However, for the three we saved, there were all those other families that will never have closure."  
JJ sighed and traced her finger over the inside of Emily's palm. "I know, baby. And I know that no matter what, we keep doing what we're doing because we have days like this. You also know that we can't save all of them, no matter how much we want too, because it's just not possible."  
"I know, but how do you tell a parent that their child is never coming home? "  
Before JJ could answer, a cry from the baby monitor rang out and she sighed, pushing herself up. Emily stopped her. "Can I go get him? Please?"  
JJ nodded and watched as the brunette rose unsteadily to her feet, wiping the dirt off of her pants before heading in. JJ sighed as the door closed, knowing that this was going to be one time when words wouldn't help.

Emily made her way slowly upstairs, blinking back tears. She was happy the case had the outcome it did. However, she just couldn't help feel empty at the prospect of one child dying to save another child. She sighed and pushed open Henry's door, noticing that Henry was cooing quietly. She leaned over and picked him up and he fussed for a moment before settling back down. Taking him over to the changing table, she talked quietly to him, her tears quietly making their way down her face as Henry gurgled happily.

"You know, little man, if you were Charlie, I would never stop looking either. Everyone thought his mother was crazy, but in the end she was right. I know your mommy wouldn't either. Neither would anyone else. We'd turn over the earth so that we could find you. You don't know how lucky you are to have a whole team of people who would rather die themselves than have anything happen to you." She sighed and ran her fingers through his hair.

Noticing his eyes starting to close, she rocked him gently, humming a tune. As Henry's breathing evened out and he fell back into slumber, she couldn't bear to put him back in his crib. He felt so real, so alive that she was having a hard time leaving go.

Not sure how much time had passed, she didn't even notice when JJ looked in and noticed Emily staring down at Henry with a soft smile. She walked over and ran her hand over the brunette's head, causing Emily to startle. "Sorry," JJ said quietly, "I was just wondering where the two of you were."

"I know it seems stupid, but I can't leave him go." JJ tipped Emily's chin up and noticed the brown orbs had unshed tears in them. She reached over and gently took Henry out of her arms, walking over and placing him back in the crib. Going over to where Emily was sitting, she knelt on the floor, placing her hands on either side of the rocking chair. "Baby, look at me."

Emily kept her hands focused on her lap, saying quietly, "It's not just this case. It's the memories of what I did. I can't ever have children, JJ. From what I did when I was 15, I scarred my body so badly that I can never have children. Henry's all I have, and if you leave me, I won't have anything."

JJ placed her hand underneath the brunette's chin, forcing her to look up. "Listen to me, Emily Elizabeth Prentiss. I love you. I've loved you since the day you walked into the BAU. I will always love you. You are my life, other than Henry. You two are my world. I heard what you said to him. You love that little boy as much as I do, if not more." The unshed tears in the brunette's eyes spilled over as JJ continued, "I want you to know that this, what we have, is forever, or as long as we're allowed to have it. We of all people know that tomorrow is not promised, but I will love you until the day I leave this earth and after."

Emily looked at the blonde and said quietly, "If I would have chosen differently…."  
"You wouldn't be here with me because your mother would have killed you." Emily smiled slightly at that and said quietly, "I was a failure then. I feel like a failure now."

Not knowing what else to do, JJ leaned up and pressed her lips against Emily's, and the brunette moaned in surprise, opening her mouth slightly, allowing JJ access. Tongues started a delicate dance, each stroke trying to wash the pain and hurt of a life time. As the kiss slowed, JJ pulled back and rested her head against Emily's, sighing softly. Emily locked her brown eyes onto the blonde's blue ones and in that gaze, there was a love of lifetime. Emily smiled softly and blinked, trying to get her emotions under control. Pulling back completely, she looked at the blonde and said quietly, her gaze never leaving the blonde's face, "I love you."

"I love you too." A brilliant smile flashed across the blonde's face, knowing that Emily saying those words to her meant more than anyone else saying them. Taking her hand and bringing it up to her lips, she placed a soft kiss against the knuckles. However, Emily couldn't quite shake the feeling that despite the blonde's feelings, she would find something better eventually and that she would be alone again.

JJ saw the emotions play across the brunette's face and ran a hand slowly down her cheek, smiling softly as the brunette leaned into the touch. "No matter how dark your darkest hour seems, I'll be here. You don't have to hide from me anymore. I made you a promise; I gave you my heart. You've had my heart since the day you walked into the BAU and I won't let you run anymore."

"What if someone better comes along?" Emily asked softly, the question barely a whisper.

JJ gave her a look with such love and adoration in the gaze that Emily's breath caught in her throat. "I love you; no one else. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I won't let you go. I will walk through fire for you, to fight for you, to find you. If you are lost, I will find you. If you are scared, I will hold you. Henry and I both love you more than anyone in this world."

The darkness that Emily had been feeling, while not gone, was slowly lifting. And in the light was the blonde hair beauty who had given her what she had always dreamed of: a family and a way out of the darkness that had been around her all her life.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I originally wrote this as a standalone, but this actually works into the "Darkness" series I'm trying to create. However, I have decided that this series will be a series of interconnected one shots that all tie in the end. I'm currently working on the third one as I post this. The third installment should be up in the next day or two.

A/N2: None of this belongs to me. I wish Criminal Minds belonged to me, because there is no way I would have ever let Paget or AJ go in the first place. And I especially would have fought harder to keep her around the second time. However, if Paget decides to come back, I am more than willing to be her personal assistant.

You hear him start to whimper, and you awake suddenly and get up, letting his mother sleep. Sleep has been hard to come by since Henry started with the nightmares. You make your way down the hallway to his room and open the door quietly. "What's wrong, buddy?

The four year old looks up and you feel your heart clinch at the sight of him with tears running down his cheeks. You walk over to his bed and wrap your arms around him and he sniffles and buries his head into your shoulder. "I had a bad dweam, Aunt Em'ly."

"What was the dream about?" he buries his head deeper into your shoulder, clinging to you. As you stroke his back, you wonder how this child can make you feel so complete. Other than his mother, he is truly your reason for living. He is the reason that you work so hard at your job, so the world can be a slightly safer place when he is ready to go out in the world. You stroke his soft blonde hair and his tears slowly subside. "What was the dream about, Henry?"

"Bad guy's wif guns chasing you and Mommy. You two di'nt get 'way and they hurted the bof of you and I was scawed."

"Buddy, look at me." Slowly, the blonde hair child looks up at you, tears streaming down his face. "No one is going to hurt your mommy and me."  
"But you lefted that one time." You sit there, stunned that he remembers when you had to fake your death in order to protect him and everyone you loved from Ian Doyle. "How do you remember that, buddy? You were just a baby?"

"Uncle Morgan said somfing to Mommy the other day." You silently berate Morgan, knowing when you see him again; you're going to remind him to be careful what he says around Henry. "Henry, listen to me. I'm never going to leave like that again. I love you and your mommy too much to leave like that again. I did it to protect you and Mommy. The bad man would have hurt you guys and I couldn't have lived with myself if something happened to you guys."

"You pwomise?" he looks up at you with those eyes so much like his mothers. The eyes that you can never say no too. Your heart clinches as you realize if you make this promise, you could easily break it. "Henry, I can't promise that I won't get hurt. I won't promise that I won't have to leave again. But I do promise you that I will protect you and your mommy with everything I have." You're not sure how much of that he understood, but he calms down and snuggles against you.

You continue to stroke his hair and he looks up at you. "Will you sing to me?"

"What do you want me to sing?" you smile down at him, knowing what song he wants you to sing to him.

"The song that Mommy says you sang to me the night I came home from the hospital."

You smile at that, thinking back to when Henry was born. How excited you were and how much you ached when you saw how much he looked like his mother. You look down at him and say, "I will, if you promise that you'll lie down like a good boy."

"Only if you lay next to me." You nod and he lies down and you lay next to him. You stroke his hair and sing softly:

_I was waiting for so long for a miracle to come__  
__Everyone told me to be strong, hold on and don't shed a tear__  
__Through the darkness and good times, I knew I'd make it through__  
__And the world thought I had it all__  
__But I was, waiting for you_

_Hush now, I see a light in the sky__  
__Oh, it's almost blinding me__  
__I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love__  
__Let the rain come down and wash away my tears__  
__Let it fill my soul and drown my fears__  
__Let it shatter the walls for a new sun__  
__A new day has come_

Where there was dark now there's light  
Where there was pain now there's joy  
Where there was weakness, I found my strength  
All in the eyes of a boy

_Hush now, I see a light in the sky__  
__Oh, it's almost blinding me__  
__I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love__  
__Let the rain come down and wash away my tears__  
__Let it fill my soul and drown my fears__  
__Let it shatter the walls for a new sun__  
__A new day has come_

_Let the rain come down and wash away my tears__  
__Let it fill my soul and drown my fears__  
__Let it shatter the walls for a new sun__  
__A new day has come_

_Hush now I see a light in your eyes__  
__All in the eyes of a boy_

_I can't believe I've been touched by an angel with love_

You finish the song and notice his even breathing. You smile and lean over, kissing his forehead and tucking the blanket around him. You make sure his teddy bear is snugly against him and he sighs. You feel a love you didn't know existed come from inside you and you brush away the tears that have sprung to your eyes.

You slowly make your way out of his bed, careful not to disturb him. You turn and are startled to see JJ standing against the doorway, smiling softly at the two of you, and your breath catches as you see the love in her eyes for both her son and you. You say quietly, "Sorry if I woke you."  
"You didn't wake me. I rolled over and you weren't there." She looks at her sleeping son and says quietly, "Nightmare?"  
_  
_You nod and she asks quietly, "What about?"

"Bad men chasing us with guns and hurting us." She nods and you turn back, watching the sleeping child. She wraps her arms around your waist and you sigh, leaning back into her. "I am going to have to talk to Morgan tomorrow about watching what he says around Henry. Apparently, Henry overheard him talking to you about me 'dying' and he was scared that I would die again."

JJ nods and gently tugs you out of the doorway, closing his door all but a crack. Outside his bedroom door, she leans up and kisses you. Pulling back, she looks up at you, those blue eyes you can always get lost in locking onto your brown ones. "I remember when you sang that song to Henry. I remember because you snuck off while everyone was sitting in the living room. I couldn't find you, but I heard you singing."

You remember that vividly, standing over his crib, stroking his hair, and thinking that maybe, this time, you could get it right and be the mother you couldn't be at 15. Of course, what you thought back then was that JJ would never feel the same way. So you brushed Henry's downy of hair and sang softly to him, unaware that JJ was standing in the doorway, tears running down her cheeks as she listened to you.

You lean down and brush your lips over hers, drawing her closer. "I meant what I said. I would do anything in my power to protect the two of you. You two are my reason for living. People really did think I had it all, but I never did. I was always missing something. You and Henry have given me what I've been missing. I dreamed of having a family since a young age. I got my dream, because of you two."

Tears mist in her eyes and she looks up at you with pure adoration and love. The emotion alone is enough to make you catch your breath. She leans up and kisses you with everything in her, pushing you back against the wall. You run your hands up and down her body and pull her closer, losing yourself in the kiss. The only thing that stops the kissing is the need for air.

"Let's go back to bed," she says, huskily and you reach out and trace the slightly bruised lips. She sucks on your finger and you catch your breath, a familiar sensation running throughout your body. She grins and takes your hand, leading you back to the bedroom.

Hours later, your both sated and she's nestled in your arms, you stroke her hair, running patterns up and down her spine. You smile as she shivers slightly and she says quietly, "I love you. I will do everything in my power to protect you and Henry like you would him and I. If something ever happened to you or him, I wouldn't know what to do."

You smile and lay a soft kiss against her shoulder, saying quietly, "I meant what I said. You two are my everything. You're everything I ever wanted, everything I dreamed of. With the last of my breath, I will protect the two of you."

She smiles and drifts off to sleep while you realize that you have been given that rare opportunity: a second chance to make things right.


End file.
